C is for Comprehension and Clarity: Building Skills

Clarity of message is important for comprehension. If I am not clear on your instructions, I am not able to follow through on them effectively. If I need to stop or I will fall off the edge of a cliff, I need you to shout "STOP!" and not say "You should probably arrest your movements at this point in time."

Over and over again I realize how difficult it is though to ensure your intended message is properly understood by the person you are speaking to. We all have slightly different interpretations of situations based on our perspective and our background knowledge and experience. That is why eyewitnesses give such varied accounts but all can legitimately be speaking the whole truth of how the event occurred from where they stood and their unique perspective. The sum total of these different perspectives though, gives a much wider picture of the whole and makes for a richer view.  We all contribute to the world by our own unique way of seeing the world. Consider for example, if a person could not envision travel by air, we would have no planes or helicopters and travel would be much more complicated. But if everyone only envisioned travel by air, we would not be richer in other aspects of life. 

Back to comprehension. When we speak to somebody, to the best of our knowledge we need to check that they were able to understand our message.

We can do this by speaking slowly.

We can pause to give them time to process our words.

We can use visuals such as gestures or pictures as well as words.

We can change our voice to be louder or more reflective of the tone of the message.(stern, animated etc)

We can physically guide them to see or do according to our words. 

We can repeat ourselves to give another opportunity to understand what we said.

We can ask questions to check for understanding.

We can use different words to explain ourselves. Maybe it is simpler or maybe just approaching it from another angle.

We can give examples or models to illustrate or demonstrate what we mean.

We can ask for their view of things to see where they agree or disagree and broaden the dialogue.

It is the responsibility of both parties to work on comprehension and when it is not there to put strategies in place to clarify the message and ensure you do not leave without fully understanding the other person and their message to the best of your ability.

When people talk to children, they naturally understand their limited ability to understand concepts in the world based on their limited exposure and so we more naturally put these strategies in place. For example, changing our tone, repeating our words over and over ("yes, it's a dog. DOG. Woof woof. A dog. Yes, a dog!") and so forth. As babies become children, teen then adults, we tend to show them less grace and expect more of them. While this principle is generally correct, we often forget how complicated it truly is to understand another person's full message and we get disappointed when they do not act or believe as we do on a particular topic we just told them. 

I think it is important that we are more careful communicators and works hard on not only conveying a message but also ensuring that it is understood. The meaning of comprehension is so much deeper than listening to something and doing it. Consider this as you share your words, thoughts, ideas, instructions and stories with people even just today and put into place one or two new strategies to become a more effective communicator with the people in your life. Also, be sure to put in the effort to truly comprehend the messages others are trying to convey to you and practice good listening skills as well.