W is for Watching and Waiting: Building Skills

 👀⌚Watching and Waiting. 

If we want to build up skills in ourselves or in a child's life, watching and waiting is a helpful directive. Watch others before you try something. What are they doing? Were they successful? What steps did they take and what were the circumstances? Is it something you want to do too?

Wait: You planted the seeds and now you have to wait. Whether it is a garden whose seeds literally have to have the right conditions to sprout and grow or a seed of kindness that you are waiting on to see if it bears fruit in another person's life. Maybe we invested in something and are anxiously waiting to see if it was a good decision or an amazing decision! 

Waiting is a challenge. Even when it comes to simple things like waiting in a line or waiting for our turn in a conversation. It is even more challenging when it requires us to wait days, weeks, months, or even years before the wait is over. It is important to remember that it is never wise to rush things along. There is a purpose in waiting, a benefit that grows in the process and in the passage of time. There is a developmental change that brings with it a new perspective and greater wisdom. Sometimes the result is that we want what we are waiting for even more and our excitement grows as the day approaches but other times we discover that it wasn't all we expected it would be and we are actually okay doing without the item/event/? that we were waiting for.

Children need to learn to wait. It is important not just to develop the characteristic of patience but also to be able to handle the necessity of managing without getting what we want immediately when we want it. Not only is it helpful in the development of good character, it helps us be calmer, more peaceful and better adjusted. We are not anxiously anticipating what is next in life. We are not continually focused on the next thing that we want. We don't need to resort to inappropriate ways to get what we want without waiting. Instead, we use our anticipation and discipline to slowly move towards accomplishing that which we are waiting for. 

Watch others in life. While it may seem that those who can have what they want instantaneously appear to be happiest, it is actually most often the person who had to plan and save and wait for something who ends up the happiest in the long-term. They truly value what they have and know how precious it is.

Watch and consider what more you can do in life. This may be to move yourself forward or it may be to help and benefit someone else. Did you notice a person who needed encouragement? Someone who had a financial need, was hungry or was in need of a friend? Watch carefully and caringly, without judgement but with an eye to make a positive change. And when you see your moment to shine, don't wait! Take up every opportunity to do good.

I am writing this for both children and those who are guiding them and modeling for them skills like watching and waiting. How can we do it well? How do we overcome the tendency to rush through our days with our eyes narrowly focussed on our own interests? One way is to daily choose something to observe in the lives of others. Perhaps you can do this in a structured way. You can create a calendar of ideas. For instance, on Monday watch a friend's child/pet/bag for them. On Tuesday wait while someone else goes ahead of you. On Wednesday look for someone in white who needs your help. On Thursday watch a skill-building video. On Friday find a way to encourage a friend. On Saturday take a step towards accomplishing something you are waiting for. On Sunday ...what do you think? 

Notice all the ways we need to watch and wait and all the benefits that come from it!