R is for Regulation: Building Skills

Can you control all the things going on in your head, the physical distractions, the sensory stimuli and still manage to keep yourself available for attentive learning?  If so, your skills at regulation are amazing! Opposing concepts are volatility and dysregulation.

How do you help a person regulate themselves? Mental health training offers skills to help with this but some people need more than we can give so they are directed on for professional care. However, here are some suggestions that help us with regulation in everyday life.

Have a daily routine and do what you can to maintain it. A regular sleep/wake cycle is widely proven to be a major factor in our day to day well-being.

Know what your priorities are for the day. That way, whatever happens, you know you did something of importance and value as it was your own priority for the day that you worked on first and foremost.

Have a plan for how to accomplish the most important things. Half the battle is developing the plan. When you break down a bigger goal into smaller steps, it suddenly seems more manageable and attainable. It is easier to handle the emotions of a small step forward and to keep yourself on task for each of the steps forward toward your goal than to do so for a big task that may feel overwhelming.

Block out less important things. Know what you are doing and why and the other things lose their distractive properties. They fade in comparison to the value of what you are working on.

Use strategies to stay calm such as listening to music or white noise, going for walks or runs, petting an animal, cooking a healthy meal, doing a puzzle, reading a book.  Find things that let you chill like tetris or crossword puzzles, gardening or making crafts for those times when you cannot settle yourself and need an outlet to help you calm yourself back down to baseline.

All of these strategies help adults who in turn are in a better place to help the child(ren) in their lives with their regulation too. They can practice deep breathing, deep pressure or yoga with their children, practice prayer, meditation or guided imagery or other techniques to physically calm them.

Little ones have less experience in the world and more difficulty regulating themselves. Hence, the tantrums and challenging behaviours! When your child is having a hard time with their emotions, first calm yourself and then try to help them. The same principles apply to them. Try to have a routine and stick to it as much as possible. Don't add extra 'stresses' to their days. Give them little jobs to do towards goals that they enjoy. Include them in lots of relaxing activities that give them outlets for their sensory and emotional needs. Sing, dance, play games, do sports, be active together. Laugh. Play. Snuggle and read together. Then, in those tough moments, they will have more skills to put into action to help them regulate themselves and get to a better place.  The good memories will last a lifetime and these solid skills will continue to help them too!