C is for Child Led Interactions: Building Skills

Child Led Interactions automatically indicate that the child is motivated and engaged. It is what they want to be doing at that moment in time and so they are interested and ready to interact right then.  When we connect in moments like this, our children are most open to learning from us.  When they are looking at an apple, turning it, smelling it and about to take a bite, it is meaningful to them for us to label it 'apple' and encourage them to try to say apple too. If a child is loving their toy firetruck but just moving it back and forth, you could add in the sounds and some people to rescue and a hill to go on or a chalk road for it to drive along. The child is much more likely to respond to you if you join in with this than if you try to get them to move on to a different activity of interest to you.

We all want to know that people support our interests and want to hear about what matters to us, even if it is not so important to them.  We all want to have some listen to us when we want to ramble on about something we like. It's natural. Children are no different. It is good to slow down our schedule and take time with the child(ren) in our life to observe who they are and to enter in their world.  I know more about wrestling and Pokemon than I would otherwise have known so I learned in the process too.  However, the real benefit came from the quality time and engaged interactions that took place when I joined their area of interest.

Teenagers tend to close their bedroom door and block it off as their space.  They need their space and a place to express themselves. That's true. However, if you have developed a relationship where they know you are not entering their space to impose on them your plan but that you join in to share in their interests, the boundaries may not be so rigid. They will still be teens but they will still know also that they are respected as individuals and that you are ready to interact with them where they are at which will help.

When I mentioned adding on to the firetruck activity, I should have been more clear.  START by getting your own firetruck and copying their actions.  They are having fun so try it too. THEN you can add in one thing to your game and invite them to join you.  For example, "My firetruck stopped to help people. Stop firetruck, stop. People need your help."   You can then see if they will tell their firetruck to stop too.  If that doesn't work to engage your child and encourage them to add to their play, try something else.  Maybe going on a b-u-m-p-y road would be fun or going fast then slow.  The idea is to join them in a way that they want to join you too.

For some children this is automatic and you can quickly build up the play activity.  For others, it is a challenge to let people join in but this is a skill that will help them grow so it is worth the time and energy it takes to follow their lead as often as you can in a day and give them the opportunities to build these interactive skills.

I wrote before about themes. They get a bad rap these days because they are perceived as being topics forced upon a child who is disinterested in them but made to learn. The preference is for the child to initiate the learning session. This is child led play and learning.  However, I continue to write a blog on themed activities because sometimes a child is stuck and you want to take an interest and meet them halfway.  If they like counting blocks, try counting eggs or shoes or balls.  If they like gross motor activities, teach them something new from a list of themed activities so they can learn different gross motor activities. If a child is stuck on a theme like Paw Patrol, use the theme to have them learn the alphabet with paw patrol flashcards or join in kicking a ball with the paw patrol logo on it. 

Take what they love to either introduce them to something new in another area (try paw patrol playdough for sensory exposure) or to venture out to a new topic under the safety of knowing they like the underlying activity (learn to sing twinkle, twinkle and not ONLY the ABC song all day every day). Here you are joining in with what they love and building it out to expand their learning. To clarify, I am not saying to use a theme to enforce your idea by barely grasping on to some aspect that may interest them but maybe get inspiration from it on how to take their interest and expand on it. 

Again, I could go on and on. Ask questions if you have any or share your stories of how this made a difference for a child in your life.  Child led interactions is a 'best practice' and it does take practice to do this regularly but the benefits make it worth the effort!