B is for Balance: Building Skills
When I use the word balance, what comes to mind?
Balancing building blocks? 
A logger trying to walk on rolling logs in a river? 
Is it the balance of justice's golden scales or regular scales? or do you think of relaxation, openness, equilibrium, good and evil, ???
What comes to my mind is the balance of give and take in an interaction. Taking turns creates a balance whereas dictating creates a hierarchy of dominant authority over submissive subjects. In the home, the parent is the authority but the child is their heir, not their subject. Parents need to have balanced interactions that lovingly build their child's skills and optimize their growth. While it may seem that a child does more taking than giving, their ability to contribute is limited by their skills. A parent can build those interactive skills and teach the child ways to contribute more as they grow.
Balance indicates that two things have equal weight/value/importance. Or at least that the time you take for each allows the two to coexist in a positive way that brings out the best in both. Is this not what we want for our children?
One of the reasons we encourage turn taking is that it supports the fact that both people matter and have something to contribute. You may have a lot to say but you will be able to speak again, just give the other person a chance as well.
For a child who is not speaking, pausing and waiting for them to take their turn will cue them that they should be giving a response. When they know you want them to take a turn, they will learn to take a turn, whether through expressions, words or actions.
In a classroom, do you want one child to answer all the questions? Were you the child who got the answer but ten seconds too late to share it? Or did you never share your answers at all? Which student likely learned more? The one who was actively participating and not just thinking but speaking and interacting as well. For that reason, we must have a balance of turn taking in a classroom so that all children can contribute and grow.
In the home, even with a small baby, practice a balance of turns. Roll the ball to them then help them take a turn and roll it back to you. Let them make a funny face then you make a funny face too. Take a spoonful of food and say yum. Give them a spoonful of food and say yum. These types of interactions help a child to see and do, see and do and the repetition makes a difference. The engagement makes a difference. The social connectedness makes a difference. The expectation that they are active participants and have something to contribute to the moment makes a difference.
So often we go at life at too quick of a pace. That is when we lose our balance and it almost always has a negative impact to be out of equilibrium. When we pause, do our deep breathing, smell the roses and take a moment, it builds us back up. With the child(ren) in our lives, let's pause long enough and slow the pace down just enough to really be present in our interactions with them and to purposefully make the effort to take turns in our interactions with them. Watch and listen and learn who this little person is. See their strengths and build on them. Discover their weaknesses and build their skills in those areas to help them learn and grow. Taking the time through meaningful interactions scattered throughout the days will have a lifelong, positive impact in their lives and in yours!
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